No More Pinot

I'm starting to rethink this quitting cold turkey thing. I haven't had a drink in nearly 100 hours and until now I've really been okay. On Day One I was too hungover and sick to want a drink, thanks to the bender I pulled the night before. Days Two and Three had moments of cravings but I staved them off with non-alcoholic beer. (Who knew NA beer could be my saving grace?!) But tonight on the tail end of Day Four, I'm feeling some physical symptoms. My heart's been racing off and on, I have a headache, I'm tired and irritable, my chest hurts some, I'm bloated and have some waves of light nausea. And I'm home alone. And I'm a hypochondriac. Well, maybe not diagnostically speaking but the tendencies are there. What if I were to have delirium tremens and there's no one here with me to save me?! Okay, okay, yes I Googled and I know that is rare. But still. Maybe I should just have a drink tonight. I'll feel better and then I can work on tapering o

This time feels different. I'm not sure exactly why. Perhaps it's because I got so incredibly drunk last night (for no reason) that I blacked out (for the first time.) Or maybe it's because all those sobriety related audio books and podcasts I've been listening to are finally sinking in. Perhaps it's because my son is in rehab and it just f****** feels wrong to keep living like this while he's struggling. Maybe it feels different because it's spring and the season naturally feels hopeful. Perhaps it's because I'm getting married in less than a month and I'm tired of disappointing the man I love so much. Or as my therapist said earlier today, maybe it's Divine timing.  Whatever the reason, I'm calling it. This is officially day one of NO MORE PINOT. The sobriety tracker on my phone is ticking and I am determined to not reset it as I've done countless times over the past two years. I have to do this now. And for whatever reason, today