I'm starting to rethink this quitting cold turkey thing. I haven't had a drink in nearly 100 hours and until now I've really been okay. On Day One I was too hungover and sick to want a drink, thanks to the bender I pulled the night before. Days Two and Three had moments of cravings but I staved them off with non-alcoholic beer. (Who knew NA beer could be my saving grace?!) But tonight on the tail end of Day Four, I'm feeling some physical symptoms. My heart's been racing off and on, I have a headache, I'm tired and irritable, my chest hurts some, I'm bloated and have some waves of light nausea. And I'm home alone. And I'm a hypochondriac. Well, maybe not diagnostically speaking but the tendencies are there. What if I were to have delirium tremens and there's no one here with me to save me?! Okay, okay, yes I Googled and I know that is rare. But still. Maybe I should just have a drink tonight. I'll feel better and then I can work on tapering off or at least quitting when my soon-to-be-husband is here to support and take care of me. Or I could just go call him for support (he's so great at talking me off a ledge), drink some seltzer water, and go to bed. Joy comes in the morning, right?
Well... more like take twenty but I honestly haven't counted. Shit. I really want to stop this drinking nonsense. I'm a list maker so here goes. Why I Want to Stop Drinking Hangovers suck. My head is pounding, my mouth is dry, I have bags under my eyes. This is shit. I don't like hiding my drinking from my husband. It's dishonest and wrong. I have a wine belly. It's not attractive. I'm tired of not remembering things I've said or done. It makes me feel stupid and I'm too smart for that. I don't want to die young. Alcohol kills people. Liver cancer, breast cancer, stroke, heart attack, etc. I can't accomplish the goals I have if I'm drinking every damn night. I need to be on my A-game to run my organization and my life. I don't want my children to know their mother is an alcoholic. My son is in recovery dammit. It is so not cool for him to be sober while I'm not. NOTE TO SELF: You will wa...
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