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Day Nine

I drank last night. I had a plan and I did it. After nine days, I was feeling good. I'm out of the daily drinking habit I told myself. Now that I've abstained for a week plus, I can start moderating. The whole way home from work I mentally crafted my new drinking plan: two drinks on Fridays, two on Saturdays, and one through the week if out to dinner or for another special occasion. I can do this I thought.

But here's the thing. That first sip of wine didn't even taste that good. Neither did the second or third. But I kept drinking anyway. I finished the glass, quickly poured another, and drained that one too. And then I poured a third. Once again, I found myself so tired but forcing my body to stay awake just to finish a glass of Pinot Grigio. I didn't finish the glass though. I turned out the light and went to sleep.

I tossed and turned all night and woke up feeling like s***. Alcohol sucks. I don't want to drink again. I just doesn't make sense. The nonalcoholic drinks I've been chugging the past nine days taste soooo much better and leave me feeling clear-headed and well-rested. And that's the life I want. A life of clarity, peace, focus, and one where I feel in control. I'm over feeling powerless to Pinot.


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