Well... more like take twenty but I honestly haven't counted. Shit. I really want to stop this drinking nonsense. I'm a list maker so here goes. Why I Want to Stop Drinking Hangovers suck. My head is pounding, my mouth is dry, I have bags under my eyes. This is shit. I don't like hiding my drinking from my husband. It's dishonest and wrong. I have a wine belly. It's not attractive. I'm tired of not remembering things I've said or done. It makes me feel stupid and I'm too smart for that. I don't want to die young. Alcohol kills people. Liver cancer, breast cancer, stroke, heart attack, etc. I can't accomplish the goals I have if I'm drinking every damn night. I need to be on my A-game to run my organization and my life. I don't want my children to know their mother is an alcoholic. My son is in recovery dammit. It is so not cool for him to be sober while I'm not. NOTE TO SELF: You will want a drink tonigh
I'm tempted to delete than damn Sobriety Tracker app. I've restarted it so many times already and now I'm just ignoring it because if I open it up and look at it I'll be staring at a lie. In summary, I've had seven drinks in the past seven days. Four of the seven were last night alone therefore I'm typing this with a splitting headache. Last week my therapist and I tried to determine what my triggers are. We came up with nothing. Nada. I'm just a random drinker. A whimsical drunk if you will. Well, that's my interpretation. My therapist doesn't buy that of course. My therapist would congratulate me on how far I've come so far. And my fiance keeps saying, "proud of you." Never mind that he said that last night while I was downing my fourth drink. And he doesn't do sarcasm. He honestly didn't know I had been drinking. I wasn't trying to hide it either. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm also not sure tha